Running: I've got you, babe.

His shoulders caved in while he nervously rubbed his hands together under the table in between his knees.  “Yeaaaahhhh, I really don’t 'get' running, I mean, it's just...running, what's the point, really?” he said in a hesitant yet monotone voice that belied his fear of upsetting me with this unacceptable confession in response to my visible excitement about having run the farthest I’d ever run a few hours prior.  And he continued: “People who run are… weird.”

I felt my eyes narrow as I examined him.  I knew in that moment that our blossoming romance would go nowhere fast.  Not only did he take me to yet another blah dinner for our third date (sparks were dyin'...), but now he was insulting one of the most important (new) relationships in my life: the relationship I have with running.  He doesn't have to love it, but he shouldn't insult it!  I didn't insult his love of TELEMARK SKIING for crying out loud!  To each their own, right?  Yup, another one bites the dust.

It’s only been like few months, and I may still be embarrassingly slow, but I’ve become one of “those people.” A “runner.”  I live to get off work and go for a run.  I love logging hours on mapmyrun.com discovering new running routes.  I am obsessed with logging miles and tracking the improvements of my pace with my Garmin.  I am seriously addicted to bananas and chocolate milk.  I procrastinate at work by rolling out my calves on my office floor and searching online for races near and far to train for and attend.  I find myself spending nearly all of my free time with other runners, and not necessarily running (albeit talking about it a whole damn lot).  And each time I step into Fleet Feet, I think: “Wait just one stinkin’ second! I thought running was supposed to be cheap?” But I gladly whip out my card for the goods!

I mean, when you know, you just know.  And I know: it’s love.  So here it is:  

Running, I know we haven’t known each other that long, but I am totally into you, and I’m ready to take out relationship to the next level.  Will you occupy my mind and time and heart, and stand in the place of my would-be boyfriend?

I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. :)

See, upon returning home tonight from “rehydrating” with mimosas and Blue Moons after today’s long run and tugging off my dusty running shoes, thinking about the day and the people I spent it with, I had a sort of epiphany about relationships.  You know that phrase, “You get back what you put into it”? Well, unfortunately, that hasn’t really been true with many of my inter-personal relationships.  Whether it be my boyfriend, one of my best friends, or my boss, I’ve experienced a lot of let downs and heart break from relationships I’ve put my heart and soul into.  Those harrowing experiences make me hesitant to seriously invest in any new relationships (but I still do - I can’t help it, I’m a people person).

But running? My relationship with running is one of the few things that I can really trust and rely upon, each and every day – even on rest days.  I know that I WILL get back what I put into it, and then some.  I know that it will never let me down or betray me (my body might, but not the act itself).  And the beauty of it all is that (I think) if I apply the lessons I have learned from my failed unsuccessful romantic relationships, I can make sure my relationship with running goes the distance! Yay! Specifically:

1.  If you go for too much too soon before you’re ready, you’ll burn out, and get hurt (or hurt someone else).  This is true not only of the risk of heartbreak from whirlwind romance, but risk of physical injury as well.  Thinking, “Oh, well my training program says to only do 4 today, but I feel so good I’ll just go run 13!” is just as bad as saying, “Hi Jen, it’s me” on my voicemail or assuming you're about to meet the parents after just a couple dates.  We’re just not there yet buddy, and you aren’t either.  Take your time.  Running isn’t going anywhere, and for the most part, neither am I.  The shoes and the trail will be there tomorrow.  Let the relationship evolve naturally, and build upon itself.

2.  On the other hand, if you don’t put enough energy into it, or go too slow, or keep your finger on the trigger, you’ll likely bore yourself and the process and never progress.  And you certainly can’t half-ass training any more than you can half-ass a real relationship or commitment to a partner.  You can’t run while sitting on a fence, ya know?  You really gotta have two feet on the ground, and use energy to move forward.

3.  The foundation of any relationship – romantic, platonic, business – is trust.  If you don’t trust in the process, trust that your training will get you there (whatever distance that might be), AND trust your partner (yourself, your legs, your feet, your shoes, your lungs…your coach), you’ve really got nothing.  Same goes for your better half.  (And at the same time, I see nothing wrong with the concept of “Trust, but verify.” Go ‘head. Try it. It’ll surprise you, in a good way.)

4.  You must allow for down/rest time.  You can’t spend 365/24/7 with a partner anymore than you can running without killing yourself (or the relationship), and the time and energy spent away from running will not only make you appreciate it all the more, but will make you a better, stronger, faster runner.  Just don't take too long of a break, because that can cause just as much damage.

5.  You HAVE to have a sense of humor to get you through the hard times… because there WILL be hard times.  The only way to handle falling flat on your face a mile into a marathon is to laugh at yourself (and whoever tripped you, of course).

6.  Surround yourself with people who value their own relationship with running, the way you do yours.  It will help you maintain your commitment and keep your spirits up when you're feeling weak.  In the same vain, avoid spending time with folks who don't share your values.

7.  Know that if you find just the right balance, you’ll feel a high like nothing else.  I hope this speaks for itself.  *wink, wink*

It all makes sense, right?

So far, running simply makes me consistently happy.  I know we'll have our moments, and there will be times when I'll consider breaking up, but for now, all is well in the Jen-Running relationship world.  Best of all, I’m never left confused.  If at the end of a bad run, unlike a bad day with a boyfriend, if something feels “off” and I find myself wondering, “Did I do something wrong?”, there’s always a legitimate answer based on biomechanics, training, nutrition, fuel - something other than, well, miscommunication. I mean it just… works, and it’s been one of the most fulfilling relationships I’ve had in a long, long time. So with that said: 

Dear Running,

Whether it's at dawn or at dusk, I look forward to our dates (for the most part), especially when you take me to places I've never seen before and make me feel so damn good. You're the first thing I think about it in the morning and the last thing I think about at night, and I think about you all damn day. And I love that you love that I love carbs. I hope you're just as ready as I am to make this big commitment. (Should we make it Facebook official?) I have a feeling we're in this for the long haul, Running.  I love you.

xoxo
Jen